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Beckham: Mommy, I love you.
Jess: Thank you Beckham, I like it when you tell me that.
Beckham: Mommy, I love you so much.
Jess: Thank you. Who else do you love?
Beckham: Ummm.
Jess: Do you love Daddy so much?
Beckham: [whisper] I can't tell you that.

Note to those who are unaware. The smack-off is scheduled for Friday, May 08th. You can read more about it here, here, and here. This day ranks right up there with the first Thursday of March Madness as one of the best days of the year. I am pulling for Doc Mike DiTolla. Here is one of my favorite takes from his call from last year:

I heard you say [Vic in NoCal] that you wanted to be a hero, because of the sorry state of heros today. Orlando Bloom, Toby McQuire, uhhh...are you suggesting that I have my kids look up to you as role model instead of those guys. With all due respect Vic, which none, I don't want my kids shooting quite that low. In fact, I'm pretty sure my 14-year-old and my 12-year-old have already out achieved you just by virtue of them not having a myspace page.

Despite Doc's hostility toward's Vic, he is also one of my favorite callers when he is on his game (which never seems to coincide with the Smack-Off). When he was up-and-coming, he was great. Here is a take from those days:

Hey man, in a world of idiots, let's talk about the biggest one out there: Adam "PacMan" Jones. Now, we all know his rapsheet of course. But the beef I have with him that I want to focus on today, is his use of the PacMan name. You know, kinda like if you're a boxer who wants to use the name Sugar, you have to be worthy of it - well, same principle. I mean come on, we're talking arguably the greatest game of all time here. Literally tens of thousands of dorks from the 80s owe their virginity to this thing, and yet this nincompoop has the audacity to call himself PacMan?? Yeah, right man. This guy is a Frogger at best. Maybe, maybe on his best day he's QBert. Adam "QBert" Jones.

Unfortunately, the Cablinasian will not be participating again this year. Here is one of his memorable takes:

If the NFL wants to bring in viewers for the combine, I have an idea alright? Televise the part were the these guys take the wonderlic test alright? Seriously Jim, would you rather watch Calvin Johnson bust out a 4.3 40 or watch Gaines Adams grind out a 7 on the wonderlic? Hey Gaines, if you get a $9 million signing bonus and you spend $5 million on a 10,000 square-foot crib and $2 million on a couple Lamborghinis, then how much do you have left to make it rain alright? The answer is D, enough to get through the Superbowl weekend and the NBA allstar game. I mean come on Jim, would you rather watch Reggie Nelson jump a 38-inch vertical or watch David Irons bring home a 4 on the wonderlic? And yes, according to reports, Kenny's brother David really did get a four alright? You Auburn grads can go ahead and line the bottom of your bird cage with your degrees right about now.

War another good Smack-Off.